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I'm done. I'm gone from newgrounds, aint nothing here anymore. She being impossible and cutting anyone who tries to help out of her life for saying what she doesn't want to hear. If she wants to live in deniel and never trust anyone, thats on her. I can't spoil that brat anymore. I give her positivity, she thinks I'm lying, I tell her the truth, I'm being a jackass.
Trying to just let this blow over. Trying to keep shit to myswlf because that's what good people do. Despite me being held accountable to shit I did while I was sick, when we both were wrong, I'm not going to address this to her. She wants to forget all that she's done and just make this a one sided thing about how im ruining her life. Thats her choice, thats her life. She wants to turn her back on the last person who gives is shit about her and genuinely wants to help, thats her life and thats her choice. Ill respecrt it. I do appreciate the help she gave though. I wouldn't be alive now if it wasn't for her. Maybe thats where are mistake lied.
Way to go. I fucked up and hurt the closest person to me and the last person I trusted. Someone that genuenly wanted to keep me apart of their life and I managed to pushed themaway until they hated me. Another good olde fuck up. Another slip deeper into this hole. The fucking point of quiting drinking now. No ones left to care. The fuck am I even doing with my life. The fuck is the point anymore. My life has just become waiting to die. Whats the point in living when people are desposible, and will leave. The point in living when your just supposed to not give a fuck about anything and anyone. There is no reason. How long do I have to wait. I've become more afraid of suicide failing than succeeding. But, thanks for trying. I told you I was hopeless. I can't get my shit together in time, nor can I kill myself right. Like I said, my purpose is outlived. I should've been dead years ago. Shit only gets worse from then on. I pray to not wake up, not only do i wake up, but I wake up early as fuck and unable to go back to sleep. Sitting here hating myself and trying to talk myself into swallowing a bunch of pills
I spent a year frantically rushing to conclusions, making up bullshit to bitch about, and blaming the one person willing to help me the whole time. I just want my friend back. I want to just forget 2016
If would've have met, would things be different
If I had kept quiet, would we still be friends
It doesn't matter anymore
I'm dead now
I won't be bothering you anymore
Everyday concists of waking up to seeing if she's responded or at less updated her situation. I don't know how she ended up homeless, I seen allot of my friends go homeless for different reasons. I wish I could at less be a shoulder to cry on. Fucking hate just being an internet pen pal.
Thank you @owlgirl387
Thank you for you help
I know you feel like it wasn'tenough, but it made a difference
I wish I could be more help to you now in your trying times, but such is life
All things must come to an end
Whether its good or not I don't control my life or even know how to fix it
And I can't be there to help those that need me
I just have to accept someone I love will always feel alone and hopeless and there's nothing i can do to help them
Person: "I feel like no one cares about me"
Same person: *ignores the one person that's going out of their way to give you help*
Now its just a cry for attention
Now I don't know if i can believe any of he bad things she says shes been though
Not like i can ask her nor can I tell the people she's possibly lying to about it
She wants to pretend damsel in distress. I'll still be waiting